


Accidents & Polaroids

by lovewashisname



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Lonely Oikawa, M/M, Sad Oikawa Tooru, iwaoi - Freeform, iwaoi angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-14 12:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10536063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovewashisname/pseuds/lovewashisname
Summary: In which Iwaizumi dies and leaves a broken Oikawa behind.In which Oikawa prays everyday to wake up from his nightmare.In which Oikawa would give everything for one last morning with his Hajime.





	1. Death

**Author's Note:**

> \--Iwaizumi's name changes from Iwaizumi to Hajime to Iwa-chan.  
> Oikawa is also a wreck.  
> I hope this is pleasant.

Oikawa stared with wide eyes. Limp body, blank eyes – cold hands. Iwaizumi's hands were impossibly cold as Oikawa's fingers intertwined with his. 

Oikawa's brown eyes filled with tears and every time he blinked, thick, hot tears rolled down his cheeks. His hands were shaking as he pulled Iwaizumi's heavy, cold body close. 

Oikawa screamed, his voice broken and loud and scared. He screamed and shouted, stroking Iwaizumi's hair with shaking hands. He swore over and over again as he hopelessly willed those blank eyes to light up again. 

"I love you," he whispered, pressing his forehead against Iwaizumi's. "Hajime, Hajime, I love you. Please Hajime."

He covered Iwaizumi's eyes with his shaking, pale fingers, another scream tearing through him. He screamed, his lungs aching and throat burning. He screamed and screamed, holding tight onto Iwaizumi's limp, lifeless hand.

He looked up at the sky, thick tears rolling onto his neck, dripping onto Iwaizumi's body. He broke down, silent sobs racking his tired body. 

He pressed his ear against Iwaizumi's chest, listening to the empty sound of a lifeless heart. He shut his eyes, all hope and will to live leaving him. 

"I love you, Hajime."


	2. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapists can only help those who want to be helped.

"You'll always love him, but you need to move on."

Oikawa stared out of the window with blank, unbelieving eyes. The therapist was half right. He would always love Hajime. And he supposedly needed to move on. There was no way he could. Oikawa put his head in his hands and all he could see was Hajime.

Hajime, bathed in golden sunrise light on lazy Sundays. Hajime, sweat-drenched and proud after winning a game. Hajime, smiling and pressing gentle kisses against his forehead. Hajime, falling asleep next to him with their legs tangled together. Hajime, making promises and loving him.

Oikawa let out a cry, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. The therapist flinched.

"Our time is up. Good luck at the funeral Oikawa-kun."

Oikawa dragged himself out of the room, the door falling shut behind him. His legs gave way, and Matsukawa caught him. He sobbed and screamed, covering his face with weak hands.

Hajime scolding him, Hajime smiling, Hajime holding him, Hajime crying.

"H-Hajime," he stuttered, his heart aching impossibly in his chest. "I l-love y-you."

Oikawa shut his eyes and sobbed, refusing to believe that he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--idek but Oikawa is now the responsibility of Matsukawa and Makki.


	3. Funeral

Oikawa looked at the coffin with blank eyes. He stood beside Makki and Matsukawa, tugging on his sleeves. 

He was the only one not wearing a suit, or at least something formal. He was wearing one of Iwaizumi's hoodies, a pair of Iwaizumi's trousers. He let his fingertips rest against the smooth surface of the coffin, frowning at the bouquets of flowers. 

"Oikawa-kun? Is there something you'd like to say?"

Oikawa wondered what he could possibly say. What could he possibly say to all these people, to lessen their pain, to soften the blow? He let a ragged, shaky breath escape his lips. 

"Loved you then, love you still," he whispered, pressing his hand flat against the coffin. "Love you now, always will."

A quiet round of sniffling went around. Oikawa shut his eyes, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. He dropped to his knees, leaning his forehead against the coffin. 

He pleaded quietly for this to end. He begged the universe to let this be a nightmare – a nightmare he'd wake up from. He whimpered, swearing to give up everything, just to wake up next to his Iwa-chan again. 

"Please..." he whispered. "Iwa-chan, H-Hajime, please..."

Just like everyday since, just like every time he'd cried and screamed, there was no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ???
> 
> was this tragic enough?


	4. Denial

"Good morning Iwa-chan," Oikawa whispered, turning onto his side. 

He picked up one of the many polaroid photos lying beside him. He remembered Iwa-chan buying him the pastel pink Polaroid camera, he remembered photographing Iwa-chan countless times. 

"I miss you Iwa-chan," he said softly, dropping the photo, only to pick up another one. "It's really lonely without you."

He sighed and sat up, picking up the bottle of anti-depressants at the bottom of his bed. He dropped two of the pills into his palm, picking up a bottle of water. 

"I forgot to take my men's the other day, Iwa-chan," he said softly, downing the pills and water. "Makki was really upset."

His bottom lip quivered and he picked up his favourite picture. Kunimi had taken it. Iwaizumi was staring at him adoringly, stroking his hair affectionately. He was asleep, though. 

"I miss you," he repeated, tears blurring his vision. He kissed the picture, his mind filled with things he'd never be able to do again. "Iwa-chan, why did you leave me?"

He shut his eyes, soft whimpers escaping his lips. Unlike people, love wasn't something that died. 

"I love you, Iwa-chan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh I finished
> 
> idk this is super sucky tbh


End file.
